Ode to a Car Mirror?

We’re getting there.

Almost everyone I know hangs onto something because it represents something special in their lives. That’s where collections are born. We have this need to keep arbitrary things just because we got them at an event that was cool, or it was a token of achievement. Maybe it came from a loved one who passed away.

I’ve been struggling to find ways to accurately represent the sentimental objects that I’ve been hoarding, in ways other than holding onto that object forever. It’s really difficult to look at something and say, “this has no use for me, I’m going to throw it out,” without following it up with, “but I love it so much!”

So I’m going to go through some of the wacky ways that I have come up with to make sure the most important moments in my life, and the objects that represent them, will be accurately remembered by me, those closest to me, and of course, kindly internet strangers.

Getting Real With What’s Actually Necessary

It all started with a pile of t-shirts. A pile of more than 200, by my estimates. I claimed they were all sentimental, and they were all useful, therefore, they must all be kept.

Upon closer examination, I realized the weird graphic tee I got from Walmart seven years ago was technically useful, but the sleeves didn’t fit right and it seemed like it was made for someone with very strange proportions, so I only used it to sleep. But I used it, so worth keeping, right?

Not when I have 200 others. It’s not useful if it’s your last resort after 200 others. Thus a new phrase was born: fuck it chuck it. From now on I will refer to this phrase as FICI (pronounced like feces, but drop the ‘s’).

FICI

Just so we’re clear: fuck it chuck it refers to a mindset closely related to one stemming from mindfulness meditation, an explanation of which I will preface with a short story from my childhood:

When I was three years old, I had a bad dream and called for my mom because I couldn’t close my eyes again. Sitting on the edge of my bed, she said to me, “whenever your mind wanders back to your bad dream, I want you to shout STOP!” and put your hand out to physically stop the bad thoughts from coming back. As a three-year-old, of course, I had way too much fun with this.

But the thought stuck with me, and whenever I have a bad thought, anxiety, or even still, a bad dream, I use this idea of stopping the thought in its tracks.

So, long story short, when you start thinking, “I don’t really like this thing for a good reason, but I really want to keep it because it could be useful one day,” shout FICI and throw it in that FICI pile. FICI pile could refer to a donation pile, trash bin, sell pile, or that dump you took two hours ago and were too afraid to flush down. Wouldn’t suggest the latter, because that would be terrible for your pipes, but it’s not a good blog without an occasional poop joke, right?

And that’s just the beginning.

FICI should be used for the stuff that you’re inaccurately attributing sentiment to.

Your last resort tee shirts, an unused coat rack, or broken car mirrors from college that you can’t seem to get rid of….

Things that perfectly fit my idea of FICI are things that you hold onto for the sole reason that you’ve been holding onto them forever. “Oh, well I’ve had it five years, of course it’s important, of course I need it!” NOPE. FICI that ish.

And really, the reason I love FICI is because I get to shout it at the top of my lungs every time something goes in the FICI pile and wonder what my neighbors think I’m doing. Flinging poop? Just playing with it? Who knows, the chick upstairs is crazy!

Once everything that inaccurately holds sentiment gets thrown in a FICI pile, we can really get down to the things that are special. Some things that have no use will always end up in a keep pile, even if it makes absolutely no sense. That’s when the second fun part comes in.

Giving Sentimental Objects a Proper Death

No one ever said you have to give away all of your sentimental things. If it really means a lot to you, keep it. If it takes up space and doesn’t bring you all that much joy, find a way to remember it without having the physical object. Sometimes, like me, you just don’t have enough space for sentimental objects anymore. Maybe you just want to breathe a little easier. Either way, if you find yourself still with a lot of crap after going through your FICI spree, these are some of the ways I was able to get rid of or repurpose sentimental items:

Clothing

Face it, if you have a lot of clothing, most of it is probably unnecessary. There should be very few sentimental items. The ones that do hold meaning for you, though, can be stapled onto a canvas to showcase, like this one I did for my boyfriend’s favorite tee.

PREREQ: You must have wall space for art. If you don’t, you have to throw out some art.

PREREQ 2: You have to legitimately love this shirt. As in, you’d cry if you had to chuck it.

This also works for linens, table cloths, towels, backpacks, sweatshirts, etc. Anything cloth really. If it’s not worth storing, and not worth hanging on the wall, FICI that ish. You can also turn it into a bag via hundreds of online tutorials ranging from no-sew to double sided sewn. Quilts work too, but they take up space. Make sure you can make good use of a quilt if you decide to go that way.

Other Sentimental Things

The weird stuff is always the hardest.

In my quest for other uses for my old t-shirts, I discovered a lot of people will take pictures of their stuff to keep. But really, who’s actually going to go back and look through 100+ pictures of stuff? And is it just me, or is everyone else as digitally disorganized as I am?

First off, if it’s not worth looking at in a photo album, it’s 100% not worth keeping on your shelf (assuming it has no other uses). That’s your first clue that some sentiment has been assigned inappropriately.

Still can’t get rid of it?

Snap a picture of you and it and make it a profile picture on some form of social media. Other people will comment, you intentionally look fantastic, and now not only did you get a good picture, but it’s in a place you’ll remember. This only works the first few times though, so choose your sentimental items wisely. If you’re looking to make space, this is one of those times where bigger really is better.

Still not good enough?

Fantastic, because this last idea is my personal favorite.

Ode to a Car Mirror

Say you have something really, really stupid that you just keep hanging onto. Through all the moves, packing and unpacking, organizing and FICI-ing, this thing just sticks with you.

Well, for me, it’s my 1996 Toyota Camry’s left mirror.

If you were a fan of Unsolved Mysteries, you’re going to have to read the following passage in the narrator’s voice.

New Years day 2014, I came home to find my car mirror, perfectly intact, lying on the ground next to my car.

The reason I kept this mirror so long is partially, because of the mystery.

The mirror wasn’t damaged one bit, despite the mount being entirely disconnected from the car, wires ripped out and everything.

Now, this could  have been the result of another car whacking the mirror while driving by. That is, if I had been parked on the right side of the road. It was the mirror on the sidewalk side that was broken, meaning it had to have been the result of a person. I don’t know how much force it takes for the mirror mount to get knocked clean off, but I imagine it’s more than enough to also break the corresponding mirror.

My car mirror was the reminder of an unsolved mystery, of people I will never know and actions I will always question. I vowed to keep that mirror until the day I understood what happenings transpired that night.

The way I chose to remember my car mirror, so I can finally throw out that dusty, murky thing, was to write about my best guess at how it became detached, and share it with the world.

Please enjoy the following poem.

Ode to a Car Mirror

There once was a frat guy
Who drank just too much
In an act of macho dominance
He needed to throw a punch

“But I can’t punch my best friend,
For he’s the only one I have,
And I can’t punch my girlfriend,
That’d be oh so very bad.”

He wandered the streets,
With an eye for destruction.
Through people and cars,
He almost lost his gumption.

But then the idea struck him,
Hard and fast on the arm.
He reached to his right,
And ripped the mirror from that car!

“That poor car,” he thought,
“Just a sitting duck on campus,
Between students and other drivers,
It was bound to be harassed.

He took the mirror in his hands,
And gazed drunkenly into his own eyes,
“I’m sorry,” he whispered,
And placed it by the car’s side.

RIP Camry mirror, love you dearly.

Writing about my car mirror made me both love it and recognize its uselessness a little more. I suppose I could use it to pick my teeth, but there’s a smear right across the middle that could lead to some very obsessive teeth brushing if I’m not careful.

If you can’t keep it and can’t get rid of it, write why. Perhaps by the end you’ll understand a little better why you feel the need to hang onto such a thing. Perhaps you’ll realize you have a deep-seated need to be reminded of a better time, and you do actually need to keep this thing, whatever it may be.

Got any other creative ways to put sentimental items to rest? Leave a comment or send an email to simplegallex@gmail.com.